Lens of Association: Decentering

Landmark: Observe Emotions From Outside
Beacons	Association
Realms	Enrollment
Lenses	Decentering
Guides	Stressful Moments
Trails	Learn About Association

Lens: Decentering
Beacons	Association
Landmarks	Observe Emotions From Outside

Lenses, in the context of the Beacons of Everyday Enlightenment represent more specific concepts and practices through which we can understand the rich meaning of each Beacon. There are Primary Lenses, which are the most commonly understood and most robust meditative concepts, and there are Other Lenses which are a collection of other closely related ideas for that Beacon.

Decentering refers to a cognitive process in which one views one's thoughts and emotions as temporary events in the mind, rather than as reflections of the self. Essentially, it's about having a detached awareness where you're observing your thoughts and feelings from a distance without becoming entangled in them. This can be practiced by noticing thoughts and feelings as they arise and acknowledging them without judgment. Remember that thoughts and feelings are not facts and they don't define who you are. The end-goal of decentering is to gain a greater sense of calm and control over your emotional responses, leading to increased psychological flexibility and well-being.

Landmarks

The Realms of Everyday Enlightenment each have some noticeable Landmarks which show the likely alignment someone within that Realm has with each of the Beacons and their various Lenses. These Landmarks are things that need to be noticed and explored in the context of those Lenses and Beacons. And then through working on the Trails and Guides these Landmarks will serve as markers toward the next Realm where new Landmarks await.

Landmarks of Enrollment

Landmark: Observe Emotions From Outside

The Landmark of Observe Emotions From Outside you will see negative emotions as something to observe, not something that is You. Review these questions to see if you have fully explored this Landmark and are ready to move on.
Landmark Lookouts:

Sounds and Sensations: Can you see how physical sounds and sensations are separate from You, and can you see how most physical sensations don't feel "personal" in any way?
Emotions and Sensations: Can you see how emotions and the sensations they cause are separate from You, and are you (sometimes) able to see how even the emotions themselves aren't You?

It's a rare day when you don't have some stressful moments. Everyone is different, so just prepare yourself for one of those moments with a few steps.

First, right now

Rub your hands together and notice the feeling. There is a familiar rasping of the skin rubbing against itself. There is a very pleasant sound associated with it.
Now, ask yourself the improbable question - what do those sensations say about your moral character, about your value as a person and as a friend, your worthiness to pursue your dreams?
The answer is obvious - the sound and sensation of your hands rubbing together have absolutely nothing to do with your value!
Hold onto that realization, you're going to use it later.

Read through these next steps, and then when the time comes, go through them again in real-time. Don't try to resolve anything, just practice observing your emotions as an outsider to your own mind.

The next time you experience a strong emotion - whether it is positive or negative - try and slow down and observe the following.
What is the emotion? Give it a name.
How is it making your body feel? Think of a part of your body and a sensation type such as heat or tightness.
Notice how you were able to observe both the emotion and the sensation it gave you.
Without overthinking about it, compare the emotion you're experiencing to the sound and sensation of your hands rubbing together. They're all just things happening to your body and mind. They aren't You.
Now look again at the emotion and how it is affecting your body, and observe it from the perspective of knowing the emotion isn't You it's just something that's happening.
Relax and allow the emotion to dissipate.

Landmarks of Engagement

Landmarks for this Realm (Engagement) will be added here when those pages are created.

Landmarks of Enrichment

Landmarks for this Realm (Enrichment) will be added here when those pages are created.

Shadows

The Beacons of Everyday Enlightenment provide powerful guidance through the Realms. The Lenses represent different facets of those Beacons, which provide further focus or illumination of that Beacon. On the other hand, Lenses are also accompanied by two types of Shadows which tend to obscure our journey to Enlightenment. The first kind of Shadows are the Looming Shadows, which are the obvious opposite of a given Lens, and should hopefully be easy to avoid and train against once we understand them. The second kind are the Flickering Shadows, which could be confused with the associated Lenses, because they are quite similar to the Lens, while actually being a harmful or negative counterpart. Both types of Shadows should be understood in the context of the Lens and Beacon, and reviewed periodically to ensure our view is not obscured. Within the Lens of Decentering, you view thoughts and emotions as temporary events, not reflections of The Self.

Looming Shadow - Egocentrism, being overly centered or focused on oneself and how the ego is manifested.
Flickering Shadow - Dissociation, when the practice of decentering turns into an unhealthy disconnection or dissociation from oneself or reality, misunderstanding objectivity for disengagement.

Resources

A Meditation for Decentering Your "Self" (And Why You Should Do It) - "When we realize that our “self” is really a process and not a fixed thing we can make space for less self-absorption and more compassion for others."