Guide: People

The Concept

Because we interact with other people regularly, it's a perfect opportunity to practice shifting our perceptions. As we shift our perception, we should notice the following different states

The Self - You are the center of the universe
The Other - Other people exist and experience themselves as The Self
The Self as The Other - a form of empathy, experiencing to some degree what it is to be The Other
The Self and The Other - perceiving no difference between subject and object
Neither Self nor Other - Nonduality

When

You can do these exercises anytime you are around other people, but typically it's easiest when ...

Eating around a table; at a restaurant
On a conference call
Talking one-on-one
On a walk with someone

General Visual Exercises

When with one or more other people, shift your attention to one other person, and notice that from your own visual perspective, the other person is infinitely more real than you are. Try to be fully present and you will notice that although you do not manifest in any meaningful way, the other person is manifesting in many ways.
- They are expressing emotions on their face and body language - From your perspective, none of that is present about yourself; you can't see your face or interpret the position of your arms.
- They are making sounds from their mouths and as their body shifts, or objects they are holding are making soft sounds - If you are resting in the moment, none of that is true about you.
- Pick out as many details about this person as you can - especially notice features that are not available about yourself from your own perspective.
  - What do they look like - hair, skin, ears, face, hands, clothes.
  - What do they sound like - each minor sound from their body as they move, inflections and timbre in their voice.
  - Without any judgement, note the quality of their emotional energy - are they at peace, are they amused, are they joyful? Turn attention back to your own emotional state and allow that to evaporate into nothingness.
When in a group of people, observe each person in turn, recognizing that from their perspective they are the center of the universe. Shift to the next person and note how different the world is from their perspective. This can range from the very simple to the profound.
- What can one person see that the other person can't? Most obviously their own faces, but whatever is behind them at the time isn't visible to them, but it is to everyone else.
- How might different emotions affect the way each person is experiencing the moment?
Note when two people are talking to each other and shift your attention from what one person is experiencing and then to what the other person is experiencing from their perspective. Note again that from your own perspective, each of these people is more real than you are.
Remind yourself of The Headless Way and note that everyone you see except yourself has a head, and a body, and a clear set of attributes that are not perceptible in yourself from your perspective.

Listening

Another practice is to fully devote all your attention to another person. The main points are to give the other person all the time they need to say what they want to say, and to pay attention fully to that person and what they say.

Beginner

Practice paying attention to ...
- the tone, emotion, energy, inflection, or any quality of voice you notice
- the topic as if it is the most important thing in the world
- the opinions expressed, and mentally feel the great value of the other person's wisdom and knowledge
Notice if you have an urge to interrupt, or just an eagerness for "your turn" - relax that need until it goes away
Whenever there is a pause, enjoy the pause for its own sake and quality. Let that pause linger, not anticipating more conversation, but welcoming it if it does come.
When the other person asks for your engagement, give it to them fully, focusing on responding to their topic, their energy

Intermediate

As you listen, imagine the person as if they are the only person in the world (including yourself!)
Allow your own opinions and thoughts to soften, and feel the sense that at least in The Now, the words you are hearing are the only words that exist.
Allow your own judgement and your entire self to evaporate and discover that person is the new center of the universe. Feel that recentering, feel the real knowledge that they are experiencing emotions and thoughts, and urges and needs. Note that they can feel their own body, and they can focus their attention on sounds and sights from their own perspective and driven by their own needs. Finally, allow yourself to become them for even one blink of an eye.