Try Out Other-Centeredness

Landmark: Try Out Other-Centeredness
Beacons	Association
Realms	Engagement
Lenses	Other-Centeredness
Guides	People

The Landmark of Try Out Other-Centeredness is a chance to try something in two different situations, once with someone you are talking to directly, and once with a person in the distance. For this first exercise you're trying to switch perspectives and see what another person might see. This Landmark is within the Realm of Engagement, and is part of the Beacon of Association, more specifically the Lens of Other-Centeredness.

Landmark Lookouts:

• You are the Center: Is it clear how the default perspective is that your direct visual experience is the center of everything?
  
• The Changing You: Are you able to consistently gain a glimpse into your own "non existence" from the perspective of the other person?
  

Once you are engaged in an activity or a meeting or a conversation that will last a little while, try these steps.

• Become as Mindful as you know how.
• Be aware of your own visual and audio field - what you see and hear. You may even notice the other sensations such as your clothing, any air that's hitting you, being pushed down on your seat or the floor.
• Notice all of those sensations originate from your own perspective. For this exercise take a moment to feel the weight of being the absolute center of everything. Rest with that weight for as long as you find it helpful or interesting.
• Finally, notice that one perspective you can experience is that the other people with you are insignificant, they are here as part of your conscious experience, nothing more.
• Next, prepare for a complete shift from that perspective.
• Choose the most likely person with you, for example whoever is speaking the most, besides yourself.
• Return to your most mindful state, with all your attention on that person. Relax any attention on yourself, simply absorb everything about that person.
• Acknowledge to yourself that from their experience they are the center of all sensation and experience.
• Be a little creative and put yourself in their position. What sensations would they be experiencing? The sounds coming from their mouth. Their hair itching, their feet hurting, their finger tapping on the table. Rest with this mindful exercise for a little while, really absorb this imaginative perspective.
• If you're familiar with the Headless Way, shift into that. If not, simply use your own visual field to find that you are in fact pretty unimportant in this scene, because the other person is all that matters.
• The last thing is to shift that perspective onto the other person - from their visual perspective they are the center of everything and you are just there in their consciousness.

This might not be easy to do at first, but feel free to do as much of it as you can, and experiment with the concept. Regardless of how deep you are able to experience that shift, try this next exercise which takes the idea in a slightly different direction by applying it to someone in the distance.

Landmark Lookouts:

• You are the Center: Can you see how someone far away that you don't even know is just another object in your experience? And that if you choose it, that person is completely unimportant and insignificant?
  
• They are the Center: Can you reverse that perspective? And most importantly can you see that your relative importance is essentially an illusion?
  

These steps can be done almost anywhere but will work much better outside or near window where you can see other people going about there business. You could also look at an airplane or a window in a building and picture a person there.

• Mindfully engage everything near you, the sounds, the sights, the sun, the wind, whatever it is that grounds you to your immediate position in the world.
• Look over at your chosen person and acknowledge them as another thing in your visual field. Notice other things near that person such as a street light or a cloud or a pigeon. Allow that person to be on equal footing as everything else that is distant from you - more or less inconsequential, but still at least a small part of what you're experiencing.
• Acknowledge clearly that you are the center and they are not
• Now, being creative again, shift your perspective to that other person, even if you can't actually see that person. What are they experiencing? Go as deep as you like, but stay mindful - don't slip into a daydream fantasy, stay present.
• Notice that this other person, if they could see everything you could, would see it from the "opposite" viewpoint. This person has every experience you have, but from the perspective that they are the center of all experience.
• Acknowledge that to them, they are the center, and you are not.
• Finally, relax your attention and acknowledge that the billions of people in the world exist in a world where they are the center and you are not.